Oh you too, don’t even try to deny it. It may seem like a silly question but I dreamed about him a few months ago and it wasn’t that kind of dream (hush down in the back there).
In my dream, Brad and Angelina had broken up and there was a funeral for one of their children (I know, this bit’s awful but there you go). Brad didn’t want to go and he and I were standing at the edge of the cemetery discussing the problems with his going. We were hunched together in the rain, shoulder to shoulder, and as we talked he listened to me. He explained and asked my opinion, and I listened to him and took time with my replies. We discussed it for a while and then he made his decision.
More happened in the dream that I can’t remember now, but I do remember the sense that it was always along the same lines – conversation, exchange, discussion, laughter. There was nothing romantic about it, we were just great friends and he thought I was great.
While for some this might sound a-bit-of-a-let-down Brad Pitt type of dream … for me it was absolutely fantastic. Brad clearly represented any person I respect, talking to me and actually listening. He was respecting Me with a capital M, pondering my opinion, thinking I had something of value to say, and affirming the person that he could see I was. (Of course that blue eyed twinkle didn’t hurt either, I’m not a complete fool).
I woke up feeling so refreshed, it was fabulous. Dreams are illuminating, aren’t they?
I realized it was my subconscious reminding me (again) that what I value most in a friend or partner is respect. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. We all like to be thought of as beautiful but, honestly, if there’s no respect do I care?
The dream made me think about my tween daughter, growing up in a world that tells her what she needs to do is put more and more of herself on display in order to be noticed and loved. It’s just so fundamentally wrong. It cheats us. All.
Because isn’t the authentic beauty of any human being discovered in the slower revelation of their many layers? Their history, their hopes, their dreams, their humor, their intelligence, their humanness? That’s what inspires respect. And if you go and slap all that can be displayed on display, all you’ll slap in the public eye is what can be attached to a price tag. When all the richest values are priceless and invisible.
Respect doesn’t fade, and the real beauty in another person doesn’t either.
And if someone doesn’t respect you? I will tell my daughter and son whatever age they are, “Nope, that’s not what you want, my darling. Keep looking.”