Do you feel like me?
God has brought you out of a difficult situation only to deliver you into another which is far from easy? In some ways really hard? And the not easy/really hard just seems to go on and on and on and on and on?
It has made me question the nature of my faith. I seem constantly to be asking the Lord to “come through” for me. To resolve situations, remove circumstances, bring in easier times, make life work within the framework of what I can see and hope for.
Is this what the life 0f faith is about? This constant hoping for a period – even the balance of one’s years – when seas are calm and skies are blue and all temptation, hardship and challenge is taken away?
Because – if this is what I am subconsciously always waiting, hoping and praying for – what book am I reading?
I need to change my paradigm to recognise that struggle is my life. And that’s not a bad thing. Struggle is what the Lord uses to change me, to move me forward, to peel away the layers of my selfishness and egotism to reveal a life far reacher for being lived for the sake of Him for others rather than for myself.
How I rail against this and beseech God to give me a frickin’ break! But perhaps it is in His kindness that He does not.
Because I have not stopped growing. My circumstances have not allowed me to become complacent and ready to stay put. I am not satisfied, my life has driven me forward to find more of Christ. To test Him and find that He’s true over and over again. My life continues to be uncomfortable, challenging, heartbreaking. It constantly forces me to challenge my faith and find God here with me right where I am. Not where I wish I could be, but right here where I am.
I say I want to be in a life condition of floating-on-a-floaty-in-a-pool-under-a-cloudless-sky, but God and I both know I’d become bored almost immediately. (Almost immediately. I’m not nuts.)
I say I want the Promised Land and I want it now, but when I look at scripture the Promised Land didn’t provide floaties either.
I think of the Israelite army marching around the walls of Jericho. Can you imagine? They’re IN the Promised Land … and now this? They have to take this Promised Land, it’s not just given to them. (Josie? Are you listening?)
The Israelites have to walk around the city wall once a day for six days. Can you imagine the conversations on about Day 3? Day 5??
“We’re sure, right? We’re really, really, really sure this is what God wants us to do? My feet hurt, we look ridiculous.”
Just keep going, marching, marching, marching.
Then on Day 7, they have to march around the city wall SEVEN times. “What if nothing happens? What are we going to do then?”
Just keep going, marching, muttering, marching, muttering, muttering, marching.
Then at the long blast of the horn, SHOUT!
And the walls did come down and the Lord gave them the city. The walls did come down just as God promised they would. And the only way for the Israelites to find out what God was doing and what God had in store for them was to KEEP GOING. To keep doing exactly what God had told them to do until the time was fulfilled when God would act.
Not stop half way.
Not lose heart.
Marching gives you a lot of time to think. And to become aware. And to be changed.
I think I’m on Day 3 of marching. So there’s a lot more marching to come. Not a whole lot of change-up in the routine at the moment. And I’m holding the story of Jericho to my heart. I’m plastering the Israelites faithfulness onto mine and I’m claiming the signs God has given me that He is right here and purposing all that the children and I are going through, just as He did for Israel. I’m doing what God told me to do, I’ve gone where God told me to go, I’m trying to live the life God calls me to live.
At times I feel exhausted and despairing. I have my marching orders, feelings only discourage me from following them. So feelings, get down! This is a battle for my mind.
God has promised there is land for me. I’m marching on.
And I’m turning my praise music up LOUD. You?